Foreign Owners + Managerial Appointments = Sheer Stupidity

The decision by Manchester City's Arab owners to sack Mark Hughes despite only two defeats this season is frankly ludicrous. Roberto Mancini may have done fairly well at Internazionale, 3 Serie A titles is impressive( albeit the first was handed to them after Juventus were stripped of it due to their involvement in the calciopoli scandal) yet he was shown out of the door because of a failure to progress in Europe. With no managerial experience of the Premier League, there is little or no evidence to show he'll do any better than Hughes was doing. Ok, the welsh manager had seen his side drop points at home to the likes of Burnley, Hull City and Fulham but victories over Arsenal and Chelsea plus an impressive performance at Old Trafford surely pointed towards progress. Hughes' signings of the likes of Shay Given and Craig Bellamy were really paying off, and Carlos Tevez is just starting to hit form, yet a team with so many new players can't be expected to win the title straight away. Unfortunately, it appears that's what the management were expecting, they are hard businessmen and their understanding of football is clearly not the greatest. I'd be surprised if Mancini lasts as long as Hughes did. Another foreign manager replacing a perfectly good British manager, thanks to the stupidity of foreign owners.

Further stupidity of foreign owners who clearly don't know what they are doing is exemplified by Messrs Hicks and Gillett at Liverpool. Their decision to reward the ever-insolent and sarcastic Rafael Benitez with a pricey 4 year contract extension seems to be costing them dearly. Rafa's reputation at Liverpool is based on two trophies won his first two seasons at the club. Yes, the first was the Champions League, but Lady Luck surely played a bigger role than the Spanish boss in that conquest, as first a Steven Gerrard screamer edged them out of the group stage, before Luis Garcia's goal that never crossed the line against Chelsea in the semi-final and then the miracle of all miracles in that incredible final in Istanbul. Their league performance that season was dismal, a 5th place finish, 37 points behind champions Chelsea. Yes, they won the FA Cup the following season but two 3rd places and a 4th place finish between 2006 and 2008 were merely adequate, the Anfield outfit never really threatening to win the title. Last season they came the closest yet but still finished trophiless. With Fernando Torres, Gerrard, Xabi Alonso, Javier Mascherano, Jamie Carragher and Pepe Reina at the top of their game, the team seemed to thrive, but with Alonso gone, Torres and Gerrard unable to stay fit for more than 4 or 5 games in a row and Mascherano, Carragher and Reina not firing on all cylinders, the rest of Rafa's shoddy squad are showing their true colours. Flop signings have been the real hallmark of Benitez's regime, the likes of Fernando Morientes, Ryan Babel, Bellamy, Andrea Dossena, Robbie Keane and Andriy Voronin have all failed to live up to the Kop's standards and the fact the spaniard is still in a job when the likes of Hughes and Alan Curbishley aren't is simply outrageous. Yes, he signed Fernando Torres, but it doesn't take a genius to tell that he's a great player! The foolish North American owners have put themselves in a situation where it would cost more money to sack Benitez than to fail to qualify for the Champions League, an ever more likely prospect given their current league position of 8th, following an appalling seventh league defeat at bottom of the table Portsmouth. 4 wins in 17 games speaks for itself, and elimination from a less-than-daunting Champions League group is surely not good enough for a club of Liverpool's stature. At almost any other club Benitez would be on borrowed time, yet thanks to the financial situation of Liverpool, it looks like he could well be comfortably sailing his big scouse ship into the Europa League and mid-table obscurity in the coming year...

The Premier League Team of the Noughties

As the decade draws to a close, I've been thinking about the best players of the last ten years. Initially I thought I would choose a 'World Team of the Noughties' but there are simply too many candidates to choose a satisfactory XI, so I've narrowed it down to just Premier League players. By no means am I saying these are the best eleven players of the last ten years, there are certain areas of the team where I was spoilt for choice, and others(particularly right-back) where candidates were thin on the ground. However, if I'm going for a 4-4-2, i think based on their consistent performances, these players would certainly take some beating.

GK: Brad Friedel
'Brad Friedel!? Are you crazy?' I hear you ask. Well no, over the last decade, Friedel has for me, had the safest pair of hands in the Premier League and surely deserves to have been playing in the Champions League. The current Villa stopper holds the record for most consecutive Premier League appearances, well over 200 and counting(at time of writing). After leaving Liverpool for second tier Blackburn Rovers in November of 2000, he helped guide the Ewood Park outfit back to the Premier League that very season and remained a fixture in their goal until Martin O'Neill came calling in Summer 2008. This decade Petr Cech had 2 outstanding seasons, Edwin Van Der Sar broke a record for consecutive clean sheets, Shay Given defies his own height with some of his performances, but for sheer consistency it has to be the big bald American for the number 1 shirt.

RB: Steve Finnan
A difficult position to decide with few obvious candidates. Lauren was impressive in Arsenal's invincibles team but has since disappeared into obscurity, Chelsea have gone through too many right-backs of late to present any real contenders and Gary Neville has become captain of Manchester United but hasn't been as consistent in recent years so I've decided to plump for Steve Finnan. The Irish international is remarkably the only player to have played at all 4 levels of English football, the Conference, the World Cup, the Champions League, the UEFA Cup and La Liga. An FA Cup and Champions League winner with Liverpool in 2006 and 2005 respectively, Finnan had previously made the PFA team of the year in 2002 for his part in keeping Fulham in the Premier League after helping them to promotion the previous season. After a brief stint in Spain, Finnan goes into the new decade hoping to help new team Portsmouth maintain their Premier League status.

CB: John Terry(captain)
Chelsea's resurgence in the new millennium may largely be down to an influx of Russian cash courtesy of a certain Mr Abramovich, but at the heart of their success has been a home-grown centre-back by the name of John Terry. Leading Chelsea to their first league title in 50 years, then succesfully defending it as well as playing his part in 3 FA Cup and 2 League Cup victories are good enough reasons to warrant his presence as captain in this team, and retaining the England captaincy under the astute Fabio Capello would help his case further. In those title winning seasons, Terry lead a seemingly unbeatable defence, and he chips in with his fair share of goals too. The less said about that penalty in Moscow the better though...

CB: Rio Ferdinand
Football has almost forgotten the turmoil that the Manchester United defender went through back in 2004. Hung up to dry by the FA after the dubious 'missed drugs test' affair, Ferdinand was banned for 8 months, missing Euro 2004 and dashing United's 03/04 title challenge. The former Leeds and West Ham man has bounced back stronger than ever though, playing a major part in United's back-to-back-to-back titles, and 2008 Champions League victory. Added to the title he won in his first season at United way back in 2003, as well as 2 league cups, the 2008 Club World Cup and 76 England caps, Rio has certainly achieved a fair amount this decade. His partnership with Nemanja Vidic in the last 3 seasons has seen comparisons drawn with United's legendary Bruce-Pallister pairing of the early 90s. Out injured at the moment, Rio will be hoping to return to form and fitness soon and help England's World Cup challenge in South Africa next summer...

LB: Ashley Cole
The only man to play in two different European Cup finals with two different English clubs, albeit losing both, the speedy left-back has gone from strength to strength this decade. As a youngster at Arsenal he dazzled on the left flank, winning 2 Premier League titles including the season the Gunners went unbeaten, as well as 3 FA Cups. A further 2 FA Cups at Chelsea and a first League Cup triumph have added to the Londoner's CV and fantastic form in 2009 have led to him being labelled the best left-back in the world by some. Another one who will be looking to make his mark in South Africa 2010, but not before he has another shot at the Champions League and Premier League titles with Chelsea...

RM: Cristiano Ronaldo
Only a Premier League player for 6 seasons, but the only England-based player to win the FIFA World Player of the year award all decade. The portuguese winger arrived in England as a skinny 18 year old, and initially came across as just another inconsistent tricksy winger with no end product. After a couple of years that changed though, and the new beefed-up Ronaldo turned into a goal machine, netting an unbelievable 90 goals in all competitions in his last three seasons at Old Trafford. Not only quantity, but the quality of his goals also stood out, think the cheeky flick against Villa, the free-kick against Portsmouth, the 40 yard screamer at Porto and the counter-attacking masterpiece in the Champions League at Arsenal. Weighing in with plenty of assists too, the Madeira-born forward certainly warrants his tag as 'World's most expensive player'.

CM:Steven Gerrard
The Liverpool talisman certainly deserves a place in this team, as for the last decade he has been the heartbeat of the merseyside outfit, leading them to European glory and maintaining their position as one of the Premier League's big four. Always willing to put in maximum effort, and chipping in with important goals almost whenever Liverpool are in need, Stevie G has been incredible. His role has changed through the decade from playing all across the midfield to becoming a sort of second striker to Fernando Torres, where his attacking prowess has prospered. If England are to win the World Cup next summer, they're going to need this man firing on all cylinders.

CM: Frank Lampard
Signed from West Ham in 2001, the attacking midfielder has made himself a legend at Chelsea, finishing second in the polls for FIFA World Player of the Year and Ballon D'or in 2005 and becoming the Premier League's highest ever scoring midfielder with 112 and counting. Playing a major role in Chelsea's Premier League and domestic cup success, Lamps even found himself on the scoresheet in the Champions League final back in 2008, only to lose out to Manchester United on penalties. Rarely missing games, Lampard has arguably been the most consistent outfield player of the decade and has also scored 20 goals in 76 England matches. For England, it's considered that Frank and Steven Gerrard can't both play in central midfield together, but for this team of the decade, they are both irreplaceable.

LM: Ryan Giggs
Giggsy has won more trophies in his career than most clubs do in their entire history. 11 Premier League titles, including 6 this decade, as well as 2 European cups, multiple domestic cups, and numerous individual accolades have all found their way onto the Welshman's CV over the years. He also holds about a million different records, including being the only player to score in every Premier League season, the first player to win consecutive PFA young player of the year awards and the most appearances for Manchester United. As effective as ever at the age of 36, Giggs has been United's best player this season according to the Actim index, and recently scoring his 100th league goal and winning the BBC Sports personality of the year award, the winger-cum-playmaker just keeps on going. A model professional and a true inspiration to everyone in the game, it's a crying shame that he never had the chance to show his skills in an international tournament..

CF: Thierry Henry
The frenchman certainly brought plenty of va-va-voom to the Premier League and was Arsenal's most important player in their 'invincibles' team of 2004. Becoming the gunners all-time top scorer with 226 goals was no mean feat, and only Alan Shearer and Andy Cole have scored more Premier League goals than him in history. He finished as the league's top scorer in 4 different campaigns including netting 30 in that unbeaten season. It is seen by many as a crime that he never won the World Player of the year during his time at Highbury, and perhaps European glory was what he missed under Arsene Wenger, losing in his only Champions League final to Barcelona in 2006, a club he would join a year later and with whom he would finally achieve European success earlier this year. The quality of Henry's goals were usually sublime, and the sight of him cutting in from the left wing and punishing goalkeeper after goalkeeper became a common sight. A true modern legend of the game, regardless of his antics in the World Cup play-offs last month...

CF: Ruud Van Nistelrooy
Goals, goals, goals. That's what Van Nistelrooy lives for, and his 5 years at Manchester United were full of them, netting 44 goals in all competitions in his only title-winning season of 2002/03. The dutchman was prolific, bagging 95 Premier League goals in his time in England and would surely have made 100 if his fourth season hadn't been heavily disrupted by injury. The ultimate goal poacher, Ruud has since gone on to play for Real Madrid, and is the second highest Champions League goal-scorer of all time, behind current team mate Raul. This is largely down to his prolific European performances while at United, scoring a whopping 38 goals in 47 Champions League matches. There have been some great strikers in the Premier League this decade, but for pure goal-scoring ability, none have matched Ruud Van Nistelrooy..

Bench:
Edwin Van Der Sar: 4 solid years at Fulham, before becoming United's best keeper since Peter Schmeichel. Broke record for consecutive clean sheets earlier this year.
Jamie Carragher: Liverpool stalwart who became one of the most solid centre-backs in the Premier League. Premature international retirement may prove costly to England who are thin on the ground when it comes to top quality defenders heading into 2010...
Patrick Vieira: Captain of Arsenal's invincibles and an incredible leader and defensive midfielder, his clashes with Manchester United's Roy Keane were highlights of the early part of the decade.
Robert Pires: Another member of Arsenal's invincibles, the winger scored and set up plenty of goals and linked up fantastically with fellow frenchman Thierry Henry. Now with Villarreal in Spain.
Claude Makelele: Chelsea's gain was Real Madrid's loss as the Blues turned into a title winning outfit and the galacticos fell apart. Made the holding midfield role his own.
Didier Drogba:
Took a couple of years to settle into England but the big Ivorian striker has been phenomenal towards the end of the decade and seems unstoppable going into the new decade.
Wayne Rooney: Burst onto the scene as a 16 year old in an Everton kit who scored a screamer past David Seaman at Goodison Park back in 2002. The forward then moved to Manchester United where he is fast developing into one of the world's most feared strikers. Surely will make the first XI for the next decade...

Top Marks for Tottenham

Tottenham Hotspur 9-1 Wigan Athletic. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who had to look twice when that scoreline flashed up on my screen on sunday evening. A display of attacking prowess against a Wigan Athletic team who, let's not forget, have beaten league leaders Chelsea this season, left Spurs and 5 goal hero Jermaine Defoe beaming. Since the late 90s where the likes of Newcastle managed an 8-0 victory over Sheffield Wednesday and Manchester United recorded an 8-1 scoreline at Nottingham Forest with the likes of Alan Shearer and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer making the headlines, results of these proportions have been few and far between. So congratulations to Tottenham for pressing on throughout the second half and not sitting back when the game was beyond Wigan. The sport needs games like this once in a while, so the actual football being played can make the headlines, as opposed to refereeing decisions or off-field matters. Maybe Spurs can actually hope for Champions League football next season...Well, MAYBE.

Can We Get A Replay?

The short answer is NO. No matter how much Robbie Keane and his compatriots hark on about the injustice of Thierry Henry's handball on Wednesday night, replaying the match is simply not a feasible idea. Even now Henry himself is saying its a fair solution, perhaps in an attempt to restore some of his much damaged reputation, its just not going to happen. If FIFA had the audacity to give the go ahead, the football calendar would be thrown into turmoil forever. The amount of dubious decisions that we see almost on a weekly basis would mean replays would be demanded after every bad handball, penalty, red card and "did the ball cross the line" decision. The football calendar would be thrown into turmoil, the season would last all year round and in tournaments such as the World Cup finals, where fixtures come thick and fast it would simply be impossible. It was unfair that Henry's handball wasn't spotted by the officials, but even if it had been, it doesn't mean Ireland would have won the match. Football is a game full of 'what if?'s, think back to Maradona's hand of god goal and Chelsea's penaltiless semi-final against barcelona last season. Unfortunately for Ireland, just like many before them, all they can do is hope that next time the luck is on their side...

Football's Most Hated XI

Some players get jeered almost anywhere they play, others get particularly bad receptions on certain grounds and a few are just universally hated by football fans across the country. I thought I’d take a light-hearted look at 11 of the most hated players in recent English football history and explore some of the reasons why they’ve become so unpopular amongst the football community.


GK:Lehmann

Defence: G.Neville, Gallas, Carragher, A.Cole

Midfield: Ronaldo, Barton (c), Diouf

Attack:Adebayor, Bellamy, Drogba

NB. RIGHT CLICK AND OPEN ALL LINKS IN A NEW WINDOW!

Jens Lehmann: The former Arsenal and Germany man was a shoo-in in goal for this team, after a series of ridiculous angry incidents throughout his career. Prior to the hatred he directed towards one-time understudy and eventual successor Manuel Almunia, his most memorable act was perhaps the farcical instance at Stamford Bridge where he clashed with Chelsea’s Didier Drogba (watch here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNHOBdHyRfM ). The ever-irate keeper is still at it in Germany with Stuttgart, earlier this year he ripped off team-mate Khalid Boulahrouz’s headband and threw it down in anger. Jens may be 39 now but it seems he’ll never learn...
Gary Neville: The Manchester United captain has had a very successful career, but his recent quote regarding Liverpool fans, “I’m not their favourite son” couldn’t be more of an understatement. Making himself despised by opposition fans is one of Gary’s specialities. Running over to the scouse supporters and kissing his United badge in front of them after a particular late goal at Old Trafford wasn’t one of his brightest ideas and ensured his hate-figure status at Anfield (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2DwSZdB5VE ) . After setting off to do the same thing when Michael Owen scored a late United winner against Man City earlier this season he turned his back after running half way to the away fans and made a vague attempt to pretend he was warming up. This led to former team-mate Mark Hughes labelling him a lunatic. Last week, he was sent off for a dangerous challenge on a Barnsley player yet even when Sir Alex Ferguson agreed with the official’s decision, Neville claimed the referee was ‘blatantly wrong’. Oh dear Gary, oh dear...
William Gallas: The former Chelsea man’s reputation took a battering after he made a fool of himself sulking after the final whistle on the St Andrews pitch after Arsenal conceded a late penalty to draw with Birmingham City in February 2008. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PTUMgpHPn0 ) Later that year, he reacted angrily when France team-mate Jerome Rothen revealed his nickname used to be Mr Bean because of his stupidity and that he even once stole £150 from a team-mate’s bank account! The French defender was stripped of the Arsenal captaincy last year after a series of outrageous quotes against his own team-mates, where he accused them of a lack of respect and even told one team-mate, ‘You’re only 20. I’m not your friend.’ All of which has led to William being considered an idiot by the majority of the football world...
Jamie Carragher: As if his whining accent wasn’t bad enough (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDaTTVR2JXY ), the Liverpool stalwart decided to retire from international football in 2007 at the age of just 29, simply because he couldn’t get a regular game due to the presence of Rio Ferdinand and John Terry. Instead of fighting for his place like a true professional, the scouse centre-back made the childish gesture of quitting the England team. He even claimed that defeats with England didn’t hurt as much as they did in club football. In his autobiography “Carra” he revealed that he set out to deliberately hurt former team-mate Rigobert Song in a training session. Not the most likeable character in the Liverpool line-up...
Ashley Cole: The fact that when you google Ashley Cole, the first thing that comes up is a news-celebrity related item and nothing to do with football says a lot about the Chelsea left-back. Making the front-page of tabloids as often the back, usually due to his celebrity wife/ allegations of him playing away from home/ getting arrested for swearing at a policeman hasn’t exactly endeared Cole to football fans. However, the main reason he is hated across the country is due to his move from Arsenal to Chelsea in 2006. Cole somewhat engineered the move by revealing that he felt the club weren’t willing to increase his wage to ‘match his skills’ and that he almost crashed his car ‘in anger’ when told the board weren’t willing to increase their offer to him. Ashley is now taunted for this with the nickname ‘Cashley’... and in 2008 he made himself look like even more of an idiot by turning his back on referee Mike Riley during a London derby at Tottenham. He’s also not opposed to taking a tumble... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz_mgHPvuBU) Cole’s certainly not Mr Popular, especially not in the Emirates Stadium...
Cristiano Ronaldo: The Portuguese winger was initially seen as just a bit of a show pony that went over far too easily. However, after his cheeky wink to the Portugal bench (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtRYeIBO-ko ) when he had somewhat influenced the referee to send off club-mate Wayne Rooney in the 2006 World Cup quarter finals, he turned into a hate figure in England almost overnight. After returning for Man United to get booed at every away ground in England, it didn’t help his popularity with other supporters that he went on to score against almost everybody in 3 prolific seasons from 2006/07 to 2008/09(90 goals in all competitions in those seasons). However, his popularity waned even with the United fans after his long-protracted move to Real Madrid where as soon as winning the Champions League in 2008, he started making noises that he wanted to leave and that it was his ‘dream’ to play for Real Madrid. The heavily media-engineered move finally came to fruition in June 2009 when Real offered a world-record £80 million for the trickster. To borrow one of Cristiano’s favourite phrases, ‘God only knows’ if he’ll ever be popular in England...
Joey Barton (captain): The dubious honour of captain of this Most Hated XI goes to Barton, one man who has surely done all within his power to give footballers a bad name. His list of offences is lengthy, from getting sent off for arguing at half-time in an FA Cup match, to beating the living daylights out of team-mate Ousmane Dabo in training, via assaulting a 15 year old Everton fan in Thailand and pulling a moony at yet more Everton fans when his City team got a last minute equaliser. After the Dabo incident, Barton was rightly hounded out of City, only to be hired by hapless Newcastle United. Only semi-present during their relegation season due to being injured, or inevitably spending some time behind bars, Barton did make an impact when he appeared against Liverpool in May of this year, he immediately lunged into a tackle on Xabi Alonso, and was predictably sent off (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkBfsNlBEaY ) ...Joey is beyond doubt the most hated footballer of the modern era...
El Hadji Diouf: The Senegalese winger rose to prominence in the 2002 World Cup, leading then Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier to complete a £10 million deal from Lens. Whether, he knew what he was bringing to the Premier League is another question, as Diouf only scored 6 goals in 80 appearances, including becoming the first Liverpool number 9 to fail to hit the net in an entire season. The reason he finds himself in this list of hated players, would largely be down to several unsavoury spitting incidents that have marred his career in England. While at Liverpool, he spat at Celtic fans, while at Bolton he spat at both Middlesborough fans and Portsmouth captain Arjan De Zeeuw. Also, like many of his peers on this list, he enjoys a good dive. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiBXMPkYfXI ) Earlier this season, El Hadji, now at Blackburn, retorted to allegations of making a racial slur against an Everton ball boy by making the ludicrous claim that the Everton fans had been throwing bananas at him. No bananas were seen or found. Enough said.
Craig Bellamy: The Welshman has played for eight different clubs, and he’s still only 30. His short-tempered character may have something to do with why he has failed to settle anywhere for particularly long. Bellamy’s first nasty incident could be seen as when he threw a chair at Newcastle first-team coach John Carver after being sent off in a Champions League match. When the late, great Sir Bobby Robson (who labelled Bellamy a ‘great player wrapped round an unusual and volatile character’) left the club, Bellamy had a very public fall-out with new boss Graeme Souness. This involved the striker threatening to fake injury after being asked to play wide and he was subsequently loaned out to Celtic. During his brief spell in Scotland, Bellamy allegedly text Newcastle captain Alan Shearer with abusive messages, to which the iconic England striker responded by threatening to ‘knock [Bellamy’s] block off’ should he return to Newcastle. Whilst at Liverpool in 2007, Bellamy outrageously struck Norwegian team-mate John Arne Riise with a golf club during a training camp in Portugal. He was fined two weeks wages and earned the nickname, ‘the nutter with the putter’. Now at moneybags Manchester City, Craig’s unpopularity wouldn’t appear to be on the wane anytime soon, especially after he slapped a fan who invaded the pitch after this season’s Manchester derby.( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfNXYSKKSS4 )
Emmanuel Adebayor: The lanky Togolese striker seemed a perfectly likable character in his early days at Arsenal, after completing a move from Monaco in early 2006. However, it started to go wrong when he had a fight on the pitch with then team-mate Nicklas Bendtner (who would probably be on the bench for this most hated XI) during a heated North London derby at White Hart Lane. After a series of ‘uncommitted’ performances in the 2008/09 season, Arsenal decided to flog Adebayor to Man City. It was the scenes in this season’s City vs Arsenal match that really made Emmanuel a hate-figure, and I’m sure no-one needs much reminding of that horrendous kick on Robin Van Persie’s face and the ridiculous gesture of running the length of the pitch to celebrate in front of Arsenal fans. But here we go anyway... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KcrG_n8CDI )
Didier Drogba: The big Ivorian centre-forward is despised across the country chiefly for his absolutely ridiculous habit of going to ground like a drunken four-year old girl despite the fact he’s built like a veteran warrior. As you saw earlier in the Jens Lehmann video, Drogba doesn’t half know how to roll around like an absolute moron. Even Chelsea fans get frustrated at his apparent inability to stay on his feet for more than five minutes whether he’s putting in a great attacking performance or not. Everyone’s seen him do it, so to put a real video up would be pointless. This is a pretty accurate impression though... ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_Ymx5httE0 ) As if that wasn’t bad enough he arguably cost Chelsea the Champions League by getting sent off in injury time in the 2008 Final for a petulant slap on Man United’s Nemanja Vidic, which led to John Terry taking the infamous 5th penalty, which Drogba would surely have been taking instead. Didier followed that up by ranting at the referee after Chelsea’s admittedly unfair exit from the 2009 competition, which unnecessarily ruled him out of the first half of this season’s group stage campaign. He’s 31 now, and like old sparring partner Lehmann, will he ever learn?

We might boo, hiss and jeer these players week in week out, but at least they provide us with one thing. A good laugh.

Where's your anchorman, Arsene?

So far this season, Arsenal have destroyed Everton 6-1 at Goodison Park, hit another six against Blackburn at home as well as putting four past both Wigan and Portsmouth. They did all this playing some sublime football according to the footballing philosophy of experienced manager Arsene Wenger. Yet I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that there isn’t a chance in hell of seeing their captain Cesc Fabregas lifting the Barclays Premier League trophy come May. Though an admirer of the close passing, fluid play performed so easily by Fabregas and his peers, they’re lacking arguably the most important ingredient for a title-winning team- a robust, no-nonsense defensive midfielder. England in 1966 had Nobby Stiles, Manchester United in 1999 had Roy Keane, Brazil in 2002 had Gilberto Silva, even the fluid Spain of Euro 2008, so often compared to Arsenal, had the bullish Villarreal anchor-man Marcos Senna in their starting line-up. Even Arsenal themselves had one of the great defensive midfielders as their captain in the infamous “invincible” season of 2003/04, the powerhouse Patrick Vieira. Yet in the few short years since then, Wenger has revolutionised the team, with incredibly talented young players replacing the likes of Vieira, Thierry Henry, Sol Campbell and the afore-mentioned Gilberto Silva, yet they don’t seem capable of winning any trophies. The likes of Andrei Arshavin, Tomas Rosicky, Denilson and Theo Walcott can all mesmerise defenders with speed, tricks and a killer pass, but who’s going to get stuck in with a crunching tackle or a crucial block when the likes of Fernando Torres, Nicolas Anelka and Wayne Rooney are bearing down on the defence? The Arsenal squad simply hasn’t got enough balance. Chelsea have Michael Essien or Jon Obi Mikel, Liverpool have Javier Mascherano, Manchester United have Darren Fletcher. United are a good example of a balanced squad. When up against the Premiership’s lesser lights, Sir Alex Ferguson often goes for more creative midfielders such as Anderson, Michael Carrick and the veteran pass-master Paul Scholes, yet when up against stiff opposition, Fletcher is almost certainly the first name on the team sheet. Ironically, Fletcher was much maligned by Arsene Wenger after Arsenal’s 2-1 reverse at Old Trafford earlier this season. Arsenal played the better football, but United’s steelier midfield and defence prevented them scoring more than one and the Champions were rewarded with the three points. This is Arsenal’s problem. They can score all they want against mid-table and bottom half teams, yet when they come up against more threatening teams, as seen with their 4-2 defeat to nouveau-riche Manchester City(featuring Gareth Barry and Nigel De Jong as holding midfielders), they don’t have the defensive guile to claim the points. Even against teams like Stoke and Bolton, they lack the physical ability to defend for 90 minutes, particularly away from home. 24 goals scored in their first seven matches is very impressive. 10 conceded in those same games is certainly not title-winning form, and with City and Tottenham on the charge, it remains to be seen whether it will be Champions League qualifying form... Wenger, brilliant football philosopher that he is, must surely accept he needs some more defensively-minded players in his squad, if he is to bring an end to Arsenal’s four year trophy drought